This article is a classic "Pity Party" so pass it if you want; but step in if your up to seeing if its just me...

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Life often dumps you off at crossroads and it is at these times that men are made, or so it is said. Today and for the past couple of months I am finding that life doesn't really drop you off at the crossroads; it more or less just slows down enough for you to possibly jump off with enough certainty that you will survive the tuck, duck, and roll.

But if you feeling like I am right now it just doesn't seem like its slow enough; or I am so out of shape that the fall might just shatter me all together. I can't give up but I keep hittng my head on the car door jam trying to get out and as my eyes clear from the stars and tears and my head pounds from the anguish and anxiety of it all. What do you do?

The answer is to "Follow your bliss..." a phrase made famous by one of the people that I hold in high esteem Joseph Campbell the writer of the book 'The Power of Myth'. But what do you do when your bliss becomes your burden; the actual thing in which you have dreamed of for years becomes a tormentor rather than the oaisis that it used to be.

All the maxims kick in; make it fun again; start a new; find like minded people; all good advice but again how? The answer is the key but the problem is where is the lock? I know to make it fun again but how do you give up the stress of before just to get to the fun that you used to enjoy in your dream? Start a new; been there, done that and that is what one keeps doing over and over again year after year, giving up is not an option because a persistant dream is just as possesive as an obsession and like an obsesssion your ego and sense of self worth is tied up in the entire endeavor. Like minded people....hmmm. Where to look and how keep a persons interest when you barley hagging on yourself. My case is that I am slightly more advanced then the two guys I have found and I feel like they need more from me then I have to give at times.

Too many expectations so that the weight of tucking, ducking, and rolling out at even a slow moving crossroads seem daunghting. So why write this bleek outlook because even at this low point- in the back of my pea sized brain I still have a spark of hope that I will get it done somehow. I am just pushing myself too exhaustion and like a hamster on a wheel, I am just spinning and spinning; going no where with all my speed. So again why write this at all...

Well my Ma long time ago in one of my down points asked me " Are you having a pity party?"

Which I answered "Yes, I am." then proceeded to laugh and I was ready to start again.

Anyone out there thats got a laugh for me, I am ready for one- if not then the the party goes on till it breaks and I start again.

LOL TDO

Hmm...
It's hard to know what to say to this. It sounds trite to say, "Everyone goes through this at some point." I can say that I will be home over the weekend and we will find something to do.

TDO
Its official the pity party is over. And the way out was a little easier to get to; the key was simply to reach out and get even slightly reconnected to people outside of myself.

Do something, anything that will remove you from the constant tumble inward. I for my part drove to another city to meet a friend who just got into a great place and hung out outside of my pity zone.

Then came home and spent time with the webmaster just hanging out; did a little drawing, no pressure and made a decisions; that again I can't do it alone.

So if you know any artist out there seriously willing to follow a broke comicbook creator into the unknown of self-publishing send them my way. LOL

Second just sitting in the f'ing sun was all I needed. Yeah the dishes still needs to be done, the room cleaned and the clothes washed. The studio put in order but somehow it just doesn't seem as oppressive. Into the fight we go again... Push'em back, push'em back, way back. TDO